Monday, April 11, 2011

I’ve Got The Worst Job In The World!!!

Thinking of Mike Rowe’s Dirty Job on Discovery Channel makes us green with envy, so we kiasu folks decided to come up with our own version of the Worst Jobs so we can too get our own TV show. Think your job sucks? Quit whining and check these out!

Cow Inseminator
That delicious beef steak you’re eating right now? Waiting for cows to reproduce on their own take way too long, so with a little magic in genetic engineering, a cow inseminator makes farming go a little faster…and YES, it’s an actual job!

Sewer Cleaner
All that glam and job perks, what’s there NOT to love? It’s like cleaning up the toilet, only with thousands of other people’s wastage and body fluids…and no matter how hard u wash, you’ll always stink (Ellyse: I think the dating market for this one just hit rock bottom).

Crocodile Wrangler
We love and idolize the Crocodile Hunter, but we’re gonna make this short and sweet. Let’s face it…crocodiles kill! This actual occupation means handling crocodiles like the ones in the zoo, and crocs don’t like to be tamed!

Semen Analysis
MYC!’s Faizal thinks that this is the worst job in the world, ‘cause what’s worst then looking at other guys’ little brothers, combing them through to ensure that the sperm is healthy and fit for use for either scientific research or for sperm donation banks.

Tax man
You know the saying that you can never evade Death and Taxes? You’re number TWO after the devil, and your job is to collect taxes from the people to give to the government! Let’s face it. No one likes you.

Mime Artist
First of all, you don’t get to talk. Secondly, no one ever listens to you. And third, you gotta wear tight stripey costume and white makeup. It’s a silent lonely world for the mimes, and you suffer for a lifetime trying to get out of the invisible box.

Odor Tester
We hate that funky smell especially in this hot humid weather, so this one’s pretty important in keeping our Malaysian bachelors eligible. They’re chemists who sniff armpits to make sure that deodorants and anti-perspirants are operating properly to keep their users free of funk.

Cartoon Mascot
Always dreamt of being a princess in Disneyland? We’ll bet the real life princess mascots in Disneyland would think otherwise. Cartoon mascots require being stuck in a hot humid heavy suit all day long, playing with unknown children and getting paid measly wages.

Gum Buster
We MYC! folks watch a whole lotta movies, but what we definitely hate it when you reach below your seat and get yourself a whole handful of….GUM! Someone else’s gum! These guys come in and scraps off gum that resides all over, under park benches, cinema seats, toilet walls and the bottom of Ellyse’s seat.

Editor of MYC!
You think being an editor is easy? Try taking care of 20 snotty bratty kids who are not only expensive (‘cause their pay cost more than feeding a teenager!) but they actually get cranky when they’re hungry…which is ALL THE TIME!!! But still, like a proud parent, you can’t help but love them and increase their pay (especially Ellyse’s…*snicker*).


These ones kinda makes you wanna kick the bucket too…

ü  Hair Boiler
ü  Cow Hoof Trimmer
ü  Chicken Sexer
ü  Nasty Stunt Producer
ü  Weed Farmer
ü  Corporate bank robber
ü  Funeral Director
ü  Pet Psychologist
üCheese Sprayer
ü  IMAX Screen Cleaner
ü  Chimney Sweeper
ü  Fountain Pen Repairer
ü  Snake Milker

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