Thursday, April 7, 2011

Top 10 Rules On Driving In Malaysia

Wanna be a pro-driver cruisin’ around the streets of Kuala Lumpur? We’re here to get you equipped for the tarmac jungle out there, and hey, it’s survival of the fittest!

Indicators? What indicators?
See the little handles on both sides of the steering wheel called Signal Indicators? It’s for the well-being of your car that you REFRAIN from using them as much as possible when you cut lanes. That way they stay sparklingly new even in a 10 year old car =)

Tailgating is not cool
A really slow car obstructing your view? Show them some “Malaysian Hospitality” by going as close as possible to their back bumpers. People who are great at this are usually impatient speeders or pro-stalkers.

It’s your father’s road what…
Wanna take your time cruisin’ down the  highway in the fast lane? Sure, why not? If they wanna go fast, it’s their problem, not yours right? Ignore the flashing headlights ‘cause they don’t cause temporary blindness due to over-flashing.

The art of Double Parking
Ah, the lost art of double parking thrives in the pink of health right here in Malaysia.  In fact, we’ve even mastered the art of “Triple Parking”. Now go on and give yourselves a pat on the back…

Multi-taskers Extraordinaire
We Malaysians are such a superior species that we show off our versatility by SMS-ing and calling while we’re driving! Wait, there’s more! We have people applying make-up, cutting toe-nails (Ellyse: What? How? I wanna learn that!), tweezing eyebrows and shaving while driving. All we need is a built-in stove, and we can have Bak Kut Teh while driving!

Traffic light = Rocket science?
Traffic lights are complicated. They teach you something else in school (and your parents do the same), but in the REAL WORLD, green equals “take your time”, yellow equals “speed up” and red means “go faster than the speed of light”. See, it’s not easy…

Ye Olde Inquisitive Soul
We Malaysians CARE!!! So when we see an accident by the side of the road, we stop or slow down to look ‘cause we’re naturally inquisitive. Although we can’t really do anything, we’re glad we could be there to lend some “moral support”.

It’s an emergency!
There’s an emergency lane on the left, and you should use it when you’ve got an emergency, like rushing for a movie, getting home before the girlfriend gets mad, avoid being bored while you’re stuck in the jam, etc. If there’s an ambulance, tailgate it from behind so you can reach your destination even faster!

Yellow boxes are fun!
Wheeeee, have fun stopping in yellow boxes especially when there’s a queue after the traffic lights. So what if people are honking at you ‘cause they can’t go through? Can’t find a yellow box? Just make sudden stops by the sides of the road to drop of passengers. It’s almost as fun as the yellow boxes.

The Malaysian Driver Initiation Process
Alas young driver, your final stop at this rite of passage towards becoming the next great Malaysian driver is to greatly extend your vocabulary on the road. Use (or show) vulgarities and show your Muhibbah spirit by picking up other languages too.


MYC! Safety Driving Tips!
We love our readers, so we’re doing our part in keeping you safe and sound
ü  Wear your seatbelts! It ACTUALLY works!
ü  Remember to switch on your emergency light when you’re stopping
ü  Need for speed? Stick to Daytona and keep the speedometer low in real life
ü  For the last time, use the Signal Lights!
ü  Keep your car well-maintained, or it may break down in the middle of a dangerous slope
ü  Keep a safe distance from the car in front of you. No kissing allowed on public roads!
ü  Legal parking spots are the ones that will not put you in danger or as a road obstruction. Use them!
ü  Beware of the blind spot. Invest in wider rearview mirrors that will enable you to see the sides
ü  The rearview mirror is there so you can watch the cars behind, not apply makeup
ü  Stay alert. Don’t drive when you’re sleepy

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