Standing Still and Looking Pretty

For as long as anybody could remember, there has always been this avid fascination with Hollywood movies, no matter how poorly-received they turn out to be. What was once the most important in any movie (the storyline) has taken the back seat to make room for A-list actors/actresses with too much botox and zero acting abilities. Surely deep down you agree? Ever go and watch a movie and think to yourself, "God this man/woman can't act!"?

Well, there you go: gorgeous people with no acting chops.

1. Kristen Stewart - So what she's the actress everybody's raving about? In case you didn't know, past movie credits include Panic Room, Zathura and heaven forbid, The Twilight Saga. When I first heard she was playing Bella Swan, the protagonist from my then-favourite set of books, I almost wept. Seriously, anybody who'd suffered through the past three movies (Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse) would know what I mean. She just walks around looking mopey and emotionless, and when, in any of the aforementioned three movies, she is being attacked by the baddie, you almost want to cheer. For the bad guy.
2. Arnold Schwarzenegger - He has to be in the list. The former bodybuilder/model/governor of California, his more well-known roles include Conan in the '80s and, of course, the Terminator series. His bulging muscles, I'd like to think, make up for his lack of facial expressions and acting skills. The only plus is that his Austrian accent has mellowed down since his Conan days (it was Bad back then - with a capital 'B')
3. Jessica Simpson - She should've just stuck to singing. Or rather, whatever it was she did at the start of her career before she and Nick Lachey split up. At least there had been some semblance of a real singer. And then, post-Nick Lachey, there was The Dukes of Hazzard and Blonde Ambition which cemented her status as a ditzy blonde bimbo with breathy vocals and all that. Afterwards, there was her foray into Country Music *coughs* And oh, if you must know, there was also her famous 'chicken or fish' comment on The Newlyweds.
4. Robert Pattinson - 'Model, singer, actor', reads his resume. He had a small part as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire before he clinched the role of Edward Cullen, the sparkly pretty-boy vampire who spends most of his time being broody and who falls in love with a mortal teenager (played by Kristen Stewart). Since then he was in Remember Me and Water for Elephants. Let's just face it, though, he's actually too pretty for rugged roles, and people seem to know him more as 'Edward Cullen' than his real name.
5.  Megan Fox - A male friend of mine was horrified that I hated Megan Fox in the first two Transformers movies as well as Jennifer's Body. From a guy's point of view, she's eye candy, all pouty-lipped and buxom-y. But if you'd noticed, she rarely does anything of significance except to stand still and look pretty. Real acting, I should remind you, is performing in a way that you capture the imagination of the audience. Real acting is like Casablanca or The Godfather - you empathize with the character, you relate to them, you weep a little (drooling over Ms. Fox doesn't count).  So yah, acting-wise, she fails on all counts. Obviously.